Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
