My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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