Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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