Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize