I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
