He asked me if I "almost moaned"
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
