summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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