Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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