Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
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Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
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She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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