remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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