I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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