if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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