If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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