dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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