i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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