I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
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