Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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