I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
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we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
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I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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