it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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