i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
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He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
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I think I ejaculated my soul out.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
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