Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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