drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
