uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
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No I am not eating basil off your cock
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
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I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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