I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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