Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
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