yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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