plz talk dirty to me
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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