made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
