I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
