So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I think pants incapable of making pants work
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
