y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
