weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Randomize
