I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...