24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
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I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
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I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know