this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize