K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Randomize
