I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
