i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
be right there i have to get my cape
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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