Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
