I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
