i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
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