Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
