shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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