Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
