I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
