You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Randomize
