he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
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Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
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So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend