I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.