Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(727): View more from Florida

What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?

(1-727): View more from Florida

Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.

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(727): What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette? (1-727): Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast. http://tfl.nu/lpfv

Replies (2) Good night (1324) Bad night (486)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.

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(612): I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills. http://tfl.nu/7aj5

Replies (52) Good night (6456) Bad night (3474)
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(503): View more from Oregon

Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.

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(503): Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook. http://tfl.nu/p6bz

Replies (15) Good night (8099) Bad night (1172)
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(734): View more from Michigan

I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.

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(734): I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel. http://tfl.nu/6ex0

Replies (8) Good night (894) Bad night (1876)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.

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(413): Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again. http://tfl.nu/hakk

Replies (3) Good night (1570) Bad night (2327)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.

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(617): she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something. http://tfl.nu/1xv3

Replies (17) Good night (920) Bad night (3456)
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(819): View more from Quebec

there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive

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(819): there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive http://tfl.nu/f5fj

Replies (3) Good night (2585) Bad night (706)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.

(1-479): View more from Arkansas

How have you survived this long?

(479): View more from Arkansas

Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.

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(479): Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever. (1-479): How have you survived this long? (479): Dumb luck and a deal with the devil. http://tfl.nu/0es8

Replies (9) Good night (3198) Bad night (815)
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(816): View more from Missouri

I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.

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(816): I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey. http://tfl.nu/ef3v

Replies (3) Good night (1578) Bad night (500)
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(406): View more from Montana

I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people

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(406): I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people http://tfl.nu/t3r3

Replies (7) Good night (873) Bad night (404)
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(218): View more from Minnesota

found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.

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(218): found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging. http://tfl.nu/wawj

Replies (4) Good night (395) Bad night (805)
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(+31): View more from The Netherlands

So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?

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(+31): So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it? http://tfl.nu/5fmg

Replies (7) Good night (1581) Bad night (346)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.

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(603): After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe. http://tfl.nu/65wu

Replies (4) Good night (441) Bad night (1013)
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(509): View more from Washington

The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.

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(509): The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by. http://tfl.nu/ohjn

Replies (3) Good night (566) Bad night (174)
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(503): View more from Oregon

In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.

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(503): In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win. http://tfl.nu/mc4e

Replies (11) Good night (557) Bad night (285)

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