Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I am spending my child support on dildos

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(860): View more from Connecticut

she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"

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(562): View more from California

just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(920): View more from Wisconsin

well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.

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(248): View more from Michigan

THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?

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(315): View more from New York

Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on

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(214): View more from Texas

I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.

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