Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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