You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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