just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
