Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
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