Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
