I want to stick my p in your. b.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
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