i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
