I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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