Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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