shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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