I wanna bring you to show and tell
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
