I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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