you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
