Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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