just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm sobbing to NWA
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
